Praying the Beads

About two years ago, I went to a religious goods store to buy my mother a nice rosary for a Christmas present. While choosing it, I thought to myself that I hadn’t owned a rosary for probably 15 years, so I bought one for myself: a handsome medium-sized rosary with rosewood beads, comfortable to the hand.

Later, by myself in the chapel, I gave it a "Test Run." It, of course, instantly brought back childhood memories of learning the prayers and praying the rosary in school. I fingered the beads, then slowly started saying the prayers. And as I did, my mind wandered all over to thoughts about God and the spirit, and sometimes to thoughts about yesterday’s meetings or tomorrow’s dinner, or other mundane things. That’s when I tugged on the rosary like a life line of sorts and returned to very deliberately saying those short prayers.

To me, a rosary is a kind of holy abacus or a blessed cribbage board. By using a certain formula and keeping track with the beads, it frees my mind to go exploring. Like breadcrumbs on a trail, I can usually find my way back.

Custom has it, you choose a group of New Testament events or “Mysteries” to think about while saying the prayers.
I also have some spiritual reading to glance at between the decades. (These days it’s been Henri Nouwen’s “Here and Now.”)

Let me pause here and show you this unbelievable picture:

Rosary Bead, early 16th century
South Lowlands (Brabant)
Boxwood; Diam. 2 1/16 in. (5.2 cm)
Gift of J. Pierpont Morgan, 1917 (17.190.475)

Rosary beads, miniature altars, and other small devotional objects produced in Brabant in the early sixteenth century inspire awe by the detail and minuteness of their carving. Produced in relatively large numbers, these rosary beads were carved of many pieces of fine-grained boxwood that were then fitted together, presumably with the aid of a magnifying glass. On the outside of this bead is the crown of thorns among pierced Gothic arches and circles accompanied by biblical inscriptions. The upper interior depicts Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge when closed; when opened, a triptych is formed, with depictions of, on the left, the Journey to Nazareth and the Nativity; in the center, the Journey with the Adoration of the Kings in the background; and, on the right, the Presentation and the Offering of Doves. In the lower half is the Crucifixion with ancillary scenes of the Agony in the Garden and Peter cutting off the ear of Malachus.

(This is from the Metropolitan in N. Y., Here'sthe link.)


Since before Thanksgiving, I have had a rotten time praying. I just haven’t been able to focus. I want a quiet space inside me, and instead my head feels like a piñata full of bees. But the other night, tucked away in a corner of the chapel before Mass, the rosary once again seemed to pull me out of that for just a while.

I used the first few prayers of the rosary to de-frazzle my brain, calming down, getting the heart and lungs in sync. I thought of, out of the huge world population, how many people might actually be saying these same prayers at this same time.

I chose to dwell on the “Luminous Mysteries”, starting with “The Baptism of Jesus in the River Jordan.” I tried to picture what the river might look like at this moment---- it would be somewhere just past dawn. Are there many people there? Are any praying the rosary or other prayer beads? This body of water, standing as witness to the Spirit for millennia, has washed how many clean? Nouwen writes that Jesus rose from Jordan’s waters, pronounced by the Father to be “His Beloved”, and it was this truth that enabled Jesus to withstand the devil’s temptations to prove Himself. And we, likewise, are “the Father’s beloved” with nothing to prove and plenty to share with others.

The second “Mystery of Light” is the changing of water into wine at Cana. Many commentators use this to discuss marriage. I like the ones who talk instead about the mammoth amount of wine Christ produced; even a month-long wedding feast would have a surplus. How much love can God flood us with? I’m back to the image of rivers: rivers of water, rivers of wine, rivers of spirit.

The next two mysteries, “The Sermon on the Mount” and “The Transfiguration” have me leaving the waters and climbing mountains along with, I try to imagine, many Holy Land tourists.
But Nouwen writes that Jesus’ way is “downward mobility”: down to the poor, the suffering, the marginal----- those in need of compassion. I believe it was C. S. Lewis who said he converted to Catholicism when he realized the Beatitudes were not just platitudes to memorize and repeat, but were actually meant to be lived out. To serve the poor, you become poor, and that transfigures you into a part of the kingdom of justice.

I began the final mystery, “The Last Supper”:
Staring at the altar being readied for Mass, the wine and the bread, I’m back to thinking of wine for the feast, more than anyone could ever consume, and how many people in the world might at this time be in a church or synagogue or mosque, or clearing in a forest, or a quiet room in their house, looking for compassion, wanting to know they are loved by a God who is well-pleased in them. I close my eyes and am met with an image of dark river water carrying me who-knows where.

"You do not have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." ---- C.S. Lewis

Just a Little Extra Thinking...

For centuries, scientists viewed the cosmos as a well-oiled machine, strictly and predictably follow the numerous laws of nature. Then, as scientists entered the era of "quantum physics", they discovered the physical world did what was predicted MOST of the time, but occasionally decided to do something different. This was observed by studying the whimsical nature of light. Does "the machine" have a soul? We've always figured the cosmos has a wicked sense of humor.

Today's Chicago Tribune has an overview of "The New Theology" in which some scientists and theologians are inching closer together.
[once there was a time when scientists, theologians, and artists, all were in awe of creation.]

"Just Thinking"

There is a movie currently being shown, "I'm Not There", which portrays Bob Dylan at various stages in his life: a young boy, a folk singer,etc. with each stage portrayed by a different actor ----in one case an African-American boy, and in another case by actress Kate Blanchett! It's an intriguing way to portray a character, especially one so chameleon-like as Dylan.

It reminds me of the T.V. series a few years back, "Joan of Arcadia" in which a teen-age girl was advised by "God" how to react to situations. It was a bit on the "Touched by an Angel" -side, but you never knew which person on the street was going to turn out to be "God"---- one time an old man, next time a pre-teen girl, a bank president or a dog-walker.

I was brought up to understand concepts by"Objectification": It's easier to think of "freedom" if you can put a face on it, hold it, smell it, taste it. And so I, and alot of other people, see "God" as a person, "heaven" as a place, and "time" and "space" as things. But if we get away from thinking in terms of objects, thoughts begin to open up.

Why assume "God" is one thing and one thing only, when "God" can be many or all things to people and still not lose that "God"-identity. Instead of being an old man on a lofty throne, a meticulous bookeeper, a "hanging judge", I can think of "God" as the connection we have to each other, the "soul" of creation we all share. [To paraphrase the Evangelist, "the more one loves, the more one knows God; the less one loves, the less one knows God."]

Is heaven a place beyond the clouds to which people either go or not go? Again, doesn't the Christian scripture say the kingdom of heaven is already among us and within us? Could it be each creature carries around a tiny piece of heaven, a tiny piece of the puzzle of Creation, which when all put together would still have one important piece missing, And that piece is "God."

Just thinking...

My Pre-Lenten Clutter (My Karma just ran over my Dogma)

I clean my office/studio three times a year: after Christmas, After Easter, and just before school starts in September. Usually by then, the piles of papers have re-attained the height of the trees from whence they came, and could cause serious bodily harm should they "Timber!!!" It's not something I look forward to, and I usually fall into it while looking for an important piece of paper in the morning. I throw up my hands, mildly curse, pull out the shredder and the "body-bag"-sized trash bags and I'm still at it at late afternoon, with a fiendish revengeful smirk on my face. Once I start, I really enjoy it. There's a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and renewal --- like New Year's Day!! (Of course, within a few days the papers have all been raked back on my desk---a bonfire just waiting to happen.)

And this be my pre-Lent mindset. Clutter is all over the place, my "piling system" for ideas has become a muddle.There's a lot of junk-thinking going on, making it hard to have a clear thought. There are concepts that I've accepted without thinking through, concepts that don't stand up to scrutiny. I'll be blunt: these usually come from the teachings of "organized" religion, especially "Christian" churches, in particular, the Vatican. As I hope to clarify down the line, a lot of these pseudo-dogmas are simply excuses, alibis, and band-aids for poor reasoning or hidden agendas.

Then there are valid ideas, worthwhile and completely opposite of each other. ["The opposite of a profound truth is not falsehood, but often an equally profound truth."]
These I look forward to exploring.

About Me

I am a frustrated writer and a frustrated believer. Hence, this blog. I am not very good at either preoccupation. Sometimes I can fool myself into thinking something I've written has a certain pulse to it, or at times I'm close to some kind of connection with the "soul" or "God", but the critic in me says I just like seeing my words in print, and the cynic in me says I'm just trying to sleep all the way through the night.

I started this page last Lent so I could share some items about spiritual matters, not necessarily related to an organized religion or sect, away from my regular "How Clever Am I?" blog. More importantly, I was hoping to find, among these postings, things to believe in, some answers to the series of questions that inhabit my spiritual life.Instead, I've become some kind of cyber-editor, more concerned with the process rather than the substance.

With another Lent fast approaching, I'm going to pare down this blog, and begin asking myself some tough questions. You're welcome to accompany me and, as always, comment on entries. Please explore my other blogs as well as the other links I've posted on this page.

Buddhist Prayers for Peace

I
May all beings everywhere plagued with sufferings of body and mind quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending one another.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficial celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.

II
Evoking the presence of the great compassion, let us fill our hearts with our own compassion--towards ourselves and towards all living beings.

Let us pray that all living beings realise that they are all brothers and sisters, all nourished from the same source of life.

Messiaen:" Reflection on the Spirit Of Joy"

Pierre-Laurent Aimard plays #10 of "Twenty Reflections on the Infant Jesus"



**10. Regard de L’Esprit de Joie – Reflection of the Spirit of Joy (8:03)
[“Theme of God” combines with the”Theme of Joy”]
“The fact that God is happy has always impressed me – and that this unceasing ineffable joy also inhabited the soul of Christ. A joy which, for me, is a rapture, an ecstasy in the craziest sense of the term.”----Messiaen
Violent dance, joyous sound of horns, rapture of the Holy Spirit… the joyous love of Blessed
God in the Soul of Jesus Christ...
After an introductory oriental dance, the THEME OF JOY is developed for the first time. Then we hear three variations on a victorious air de chasse, or hunting song.[2:01] In the second variation, the THEME OF JOY combines with the THEME OF GOD. The oriental dance reappears, in unison in the extreme treble and bass, A coda on the THEME OF JOY concludes the work.
Towards the end the performer is asked to play as if “in a great transport of Joy.”[7:17]
What he calls “hunting song” I call “an out-of-control Fred Astaire dancing on the roof of the stable!” There’s a wonderful feeling of abandon!!