I believe that faith is a series of questions not a set of answers. People who were upset at Mother Teresa's last book in which she was open about the doubts and questions in her spiritual life, were missing a very important point: doubt is a strong component of faith.
But I can't just say, "I doubt it", or "Who can know?" and leave it at that. It is important to search our souls and study our environment for insight and meaning. Humans---it would appear out of all creatures---- have self-awareness and consciousness. There must be a reason.
As Rabbi Heischel said: "Man is the messenger who has forgotten the message." I have this feeling that my soul has "call waiting", and I need to retrieve those messages.
I'm hesitant about stating to others my spiritual beliefs. First, I can’t prove I’m right and neither can they, so why involve ourselves in “un-edifying” conversations? Second, and more troubling to me, is that people should know what I believe by the way I live.
When I first considered that, it stopped me cold. If I went up to people who I interact with regularly but have never discussed religion with, and asked them,
"Judging from how I act and live my life, what would you say are my beliefs?", what would they answer and how happy would I be with the responses?
If I say I believe in a God who loves the poor, why aren’t I doing more about the shameful poverty in my own city, on my own street? If I claim God in present in nature, why do I allow it to be so mistreated? If I say my God is one of charity and concern and healing, why do I treat people with impatience, disdain and disrespect?
In the old days this used to be called "examination of conscience". I think I'd better check in with my soul. There's a call waiting.
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